 The sun rose over Gollum's head and they were blinded by the shaft of light which reflected off it and Tarquinne vomited.
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 on and on our hero's went, battling fire and flood wading knee deep through vomit and s**t still onwards to Mount Doom they went,weary and listless they stopped for a bite to eat. watch out for P****O spies said Gandalf, for they are on every Mountain top and fellside,
just then word came from the river banks of flooded <ford XR2> that the Capilene warriors had joined in battle with the "set up wizzard" and were fighting for control of Middlesex quickly said Gandalf we must...
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perforate their grounds for yea verily will it come to pass that
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 everyone looked perplexed not undertstanding what Gandalf had just said
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WWW-less of the elvish please..
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...for yea in Rivendell shall come to pass the day that was foretold. Tarquinne and his beauty, the fair Bellonda shall meet with Haircut One Hundred and produce the biggest....
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sensation middle earth has ever seen.
and all shall wear chunky sweaters round their shoulders and make journey to Barad-dur...
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 where they were defeated by Paramo wearing Titchmarsh, as they were distracted by his able assistant the bra-less Dimmock.
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'Oh Great Bra-less One' cried the masses.
Just then Spock and Kah-Less the Rampant Klingon appeared out of the space capsule previously (on LA Law) vacated by Jor-El.
The kryptonite glowed and glowed and glowed and suddenly Tarquinne..
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 Farted.......................sorry !!!
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You shall feel the "wrath of Khan" for that fart puny earthling said Spock.
But Tarquinne was having none of it.i did not cross space and time to bandy words with a witless worm like you Spock,said tarquinne who was interupted by..
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| Edited: 31/03/06 13:53 |
...Bellonda who drew herself up to her full height and launched herself at Spock.
"A giant nipple who can solo E4 is illogical, Jim" he spluttered just before he was smothered.
"What a way to go" said Dimmock enviously looking down at her chest.
Kah-Less the Rampant Klingon decided that Bellanda could be his new weapon in his quest for qolrd domination.
Only rpoblem was, only a Klingon could possibly understand the concept of the Klingon "qolrd".
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As our latterday hero's left the earth bound for the Klingon Home world of Qo'noS Kah-Less looked at Bellonda "a giant nipple who can solo E4" and thought with this weapon i can rule the klingon empire,we will bond at the ceremony known as 'R'uustai' but i will not cry for it is a known fact that Klingon's have no tear ducts so Bellonda said i "will cry for both of us Kha-less." at that moment the klingon "bird of prey" was hit by a kalash pulse cannon, and in through the breach strode...
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| Edited: 31/03/06 21:25 |
 Popeye munching his way through his third can of spinach that day "anyone seen Olive oive lost er" he shouted at Ambassador-Captain KaHir zantai SoHar.
Who promptly replied "yIlop! wa'leS chaq maHegh!" (Celebrate! Tomorrow we may die!)and proceeded to.......
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..take a sanity pill for yea verily the Great Frank of the Franks has spoken.
So....
Tarquinne, Charlie Dimmock, Titchmarch of the Titchmarshes, Jor-El, Kah-Less, The Wham Twins, Haircut 100, Captain Kirk, Spock, Gollum, Gandalf and Popeye sat down and ate some Trail Mix.
Charlie Dimmock, Titchmarch, Jor-El, Kah-Less, The Wham Twins, Haircut 100, Captain Kirk, Spock, Gollum, Gandalf and Popeye went home and beggared off, basically, leaving only Tarquinne and Bellonda to muster faith and speed towards the homeland. Suddenly, amid a blaze of mushy pie and peas they espied....
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...Pepsi and Shirley cos I forgot them and so they beggared off too and left just ...
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as Titchmarsh of the Tictchmarshes returned, somehow he'd gone off in the wrong direction after eating too much Trail Mix and nearly fallen off a cliff...
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 as he had spent the afternoon drinking marstons pale ale in the local pub, when in reality he should of stuck to lager......
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Martini's, it's the real......
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...'giant nipple who can solo an E4', Titchmarsh of the Titchmarshes thought to himself.
'Beggar Martinis', he thought further, 'I could murder a Dwarf'.
As luck would have it, along came Tarquinne.
'Anyone seen any tasty dwarves?' he cried.
'Tasty ones? Now yer talking', intoned Titchmarsh of that Ilk. 'Do you know, young Tarquinne, that all the Titchmarshes of the world come from one small village in.....'
Titchmarsh of the stuff stopped dead in his tracks.
I mean, like, dead.
Literally, not metaphorically.
'Now there's something you don't see every day' mused Tarquinne. 'A big.....
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