|
|
 |
.jpg) Um.. well there's, no... Or how about, ...no... Tricky this list business...Did you get any of those little gherkins, you know, the ones I like...
|
|
 ... and the mrs said 'well of course, darling. would i forget your gherkins in a hurry '. and then said 'oh.. shit... back in moment honey...' meanwhile, outside in the haze, the lawnmower was...
|
|
...mowing the lawn. There, said Tarquinne. A nice lawn with lines on it from th mower. Excellent, great for the party. Just hen the mower lost concentration and ran over the hydrangeas and a fishing gnome before heading off up a tree. Gosh! Thought Tarquinne, I don't think THAT should be happenng, the guests arrive shortly and we've not even got the guerkins yet. Still...
|
|
 ...mineral water please" called the first of the guests as they started to arrive....early! Tarquinne replied "we're not ready yet so you can stick.....
|
|
...your name on the guest list please, but first you have to find the list and a pen. Having bought himself some time he went to the bottom of the garden to...
|
|
....pick the gherkins, Hah! job done he thaught returning to the kitchen, "you idiot" said Bellonda "Gherkins are supposed to be pickled, not picked" At this point Tarquinne....
|
|
...had a sense of humour failure, threw the guerkins (which were actuallt Ghurkas) into the sink and stormed out slamming the dor and kicking the hedgehog on the way out. Wish I'd worn shoes, he thought as he unstuck the hedgehog from his...
|
|
....hedge "I wonder if Benco will post something sensible for his 1000th post on OM" he mused, "I think not" said the hedgehog who then demonstrated remarkable.....
|
|
...agility by winning the Olympic Bronze Medal for the pole vault!
|
|
 And then, to everyone's surprise, the mop returned. Yes, an undead zombie mop was walking towards them. "OYG!" said Tarquinne, "it's an undead zombie mop walking towards us." Clearly Tarquinne had an eye for subtle detail. Trouble was he didn't have that particular eye on him at the time, having left it in his sock drawer. So, missing what subtle detail there was, Tarquinne failed to notice that the zombie mop was ...
|
|
 ...a mop-like zombie. Lee Adama and Helo jumped into their borrowed Cylon raiders and went off to buy gherkins. Unfortunately, Lee was still wearing Bellonda's tutu. The shop keeper was NOT amused. "We are not amused", she cried, staring at Lee Adama. Meanwhile, Helo, who as we all know, fathered an alien baby, paid for the gherkins and they took then back to the garden party. Tarquinne and Bellonda were amazed. "I'm as amazed as Amazed Jack McAmazed" he said falteringly. Their amazement was not connected to the gherkins, nor to Lee Adama's tutu, it was what had happened to the kicked hedgehog. Just then, the hydrangeas and a fishing gnome disappeared.
|
|
which didnt half surprise Scotty on the Starship Enterprise as he thought he was beaming up Kirk and Spock, not a gnome and a plant! Bugger me...he said...I need to reverse flow the syncnotron thingy and put in a left turn before...
|
|
the engines blow. They cannae take much more cap'n." Meanwhile, in a strangely non-parallel universe, another Tarquinne was ...
|
|
talking to Captain Kirk and Spock...when Kirk's communicator beeped...
|
|
"Beep!"
|
|
...I'm sick of people just pushing my buttons all the time and sometimes spitting on me a bit. Then again when Scotty has a 'good idea' and makes me into something else it is never anything nice like a jam sandwich...
|
|
Tarquinne chirped up.....Oh, I do like a jam sarnie.....strawberry on white bread...yum...
|
|
yum.
|
|
|
|
|
