 rock cake made out of schist & mica, with a bit of feldspar tucked in there somewhere. Tarquinne took a bite, then realised that CB is dyslexic, & it wasn't schist at all  , and the mica was in fact mice. The dyslexia had got really bad because the feldspar turned out to be rhubarb. At least his lapse of concentration hadn't led to an inadvertant eating of that dreaded rock cake. Tarquinne sailed on ...
|
 |
down the river on his pink fairy cake
|
|
.jpg) Watch out! Shouted NPC or German Bob'll be along for a slice of pink cake. Tarquinne paddled his canoe, which was in fact a cake tin, placidly downstream, dipping his fingers in the water andpassing underneath overhanging tree branches. This is idyllic, he thought to himself when suddenly the canoe lurched...
|
|
... and Tarquinne was thrown into the water. Tarquinne spluttered & gasped, and then shuddered as cold, scaley flesh touched his leg. Looking down, Tarquinne saw ...
|
|
...a scaly hamster with an aqualung nibbling on his kneecap. He shuddered, is this ...it, the end of all my dreams, just when I was so close to opening an account with Bradford and Bingley too, the lettuces are nearly up and the England Women's cricket team doing so well. He sank slowly into the murky water...
|
|
 .
|
| Edited: 01/07/09 11:26 |
before he hit the bottom though, he felt something lift under each arm and., loking up he saw daylight getting closer....breaking surface, he found his rescuer was...
|
|
...mistaken so he was let go again and sank...
|
|
... and as he went under for the second time, a group of hamsters formed a living chain & grabbed his collar, dragging him to safety.
|
|
...but we couldn't get a picture of that so here's some hamsters handing out flowers...
|
|
The flower was a magic flower which gave the hamsters extra strength. And as back up, a life guard hamster was on hand
|
|
...should we be asking Jon for a dedicated hamster thread? Wondered Tarquinne as he was hauled, spluttering to the river bank by Life Guard Hamster. Sadly on the bank he was set upon and mauled by Parachute Regiment Hamster and then s he lay there bleeding, he was approached by...
|
|
a Commando hamster, who sorted the crap hat Para hamster in pretty short order, then patched Tarquinne up with a first field dressing & sent him on his way.
|
|
 ...just in time to meet up with the mop again. "Have you seen my lovely wife Bellonda?" enquired Tarquinne of the mop. "What does she look like?" responded Mop "She is a giant nipple with long brown hair and engorged areolae" replied Tarquinne. The mop looked over his shoulder and began to back away from Tarquinne. "Bloke's a nutter", he muttered to himself, "who has ever heard of a giant sea cucumber marrying a nipple? Doesn't make sense" . Tarquinne overheard this discourse and tripped up Mop "Take That!" he cried, just as Gary Barlow...
|
| Edited: 01/07/09 14:16 |
 ...ran away screaming because Tarquinne was wearing ballet pumps......
|
| Edited: 01/07/09 14:58 |
....but the ballet didn't need pumping as it was waterproof and the water ran off it like a duck's back. The ballet was, of course, made up of athletic hamsters in little tutus...
|
|
...who unfortunately were incapacitated due to having eaten some of the schist cake, "Never fear! my little friends" said Tarquinne "I'll.......
|
|
save you!" But it looked too late. The hamsters had turned into furry toys. "Oh no" said Tarquinne, "I must find a wizard to undo the evil spell that has been put upon these poor hamsters." So off he went in search of the wizard, off towards the dark, dark, dark, dark, dark forest.
|
|
Along the way he encountered yet more evidence of the evil wizard's handiwork.... "Ugh", he thought, "I don't like the look of his methods one bit. I hope that someone......"
|
|
... can help me find the good wizard to undo the spell." And with that, out from behind a tree stepped ...
|
|
