 ..said the Mop . . . dilligently. Just then a door opened...in walked President Obama, Admiral Adama and Katie Price. Adama then introduced his son Lee and Bellonda swooned. Katie Price flounced off and was never seen again. Phew.
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.jpg) Phew people realise that Pres. Obama, Adm. Adama and KP often go around together, or even that some of these people may not actually exist.... No matter...
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...said Adama. "It's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter". Helo agreed. In a handsome way.
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 Just then, Lee Adama walked in, with a cheesy grin on his face. Accompanying him was an equally cheesy revolutionary, called Che Dar & his girlfriend, Wendy Sledale. Tarquinne took one look and said, "...
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...water biscuit anyone?
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Helo took a biscuit then shot off in a Raptor. "Bloody speed merchant" exclaimed Lee Adama. His father (the admiral, remember) told him off for swearing in front of a giant nipple. Bellonda was too busy swooning to notice the...
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'NO SWOONING' sign hanging from a tree. "Oh bugger," said Tarquinne, "we'll be in trouble with the pixie police now!"
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Could be worse...could be the fairies...said Mr Spock who had just transported down from the Starship Enterprise
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"Bugrit!" said Tarquinne. "I've inhaled pixie dust and started hallucinating about a TV sci-fi show, even though they haven't invented TVs yet, nor sci-fi, nor pixie dust. I wonder what's next?"
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 ... and looked down in horror to realise that Uhuru's costume had transported with him. quick, he thought, act female... ooh la la (he said) le handbag ce la, c'est bonne! ne'est pas?... and held his breath, to hope to get away with it...
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"Ooh!" said the mop, "he's French. Looks like a trucker, probably called Minty 'cos he likes burning lambs & adding mint sauce. Quick, let's kick him!"
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"roooooooooooawr........!!!" said minty. getting bloody fed up with people taking him so lightly. "i'll eat your bloody, tendoned bones" he roared kick me, would you!!!!!" and so the mop sighed, and died. NEXT!!!!!!
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..is a clothes shop founded by George Davies who went on to work for Asda and created the George clothing range for them, explained Tarquinne. Lee Adama flounced off in a tutu - it was hard for him
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...Tarquinne wondered what to do with the rest of the water biscuits...
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then suddenly he had an idea.... Lets have a water biscuit eating contest...whoever eats the most water biscuits without taking a drink of any kind wins and the prize is...
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...a signed photo of Lee Adama in a bathing costume. He mentioned this to everyone else. "Lets have a water biscuit eating contest...whoever eats the most water biscuits without taking a drink of any kind wins and the prize is a signed photo of Lee Adama in a bathing costume." At the thought of it, mop went hard for him. (apologies for B&J-style smut) Mop went away to practice eating water biscuits.
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except he had forgotton one minor point.....Mop didnt have any water biscuits to practice with so....
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...actually wasn't the lack of water biscuits the least of mop's problems? I thought the mop was dead... Meanwhile Tarquinne was torn between the ladies tennis and the Lions rugby, wracked by indecision he...
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decided to watch the ladies tennis as he thought the sight of two women getting sweaty, grunting a lot and batting small round balls between them was much more interesting than 30 men getting sweaty, grunting a lot and kicking an odd shaped ball between them.... Then he thought again...as Mrs Tarquinne had returned from shopping with a car load of....
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...scrumpy! Great, a party, we can have a party! Now, who can we invite that we like and likes us too? Um...Did you get any twiglets with the scrumpy, dear? He asked disarmingly. Back to the list, um... Oh, and some olives to put on sticks with bits of all this cheese we have here. So, the list...
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