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Joke of the day
 
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Joke of the day
Joke of the day
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Salmon Shirted Panther
31/03/09 21:05
 Rookie 1069 forum posts 1 bookmark
It was the Scotland/Wales rugby International weekend in
Edinburgh and as the crowds made their way down Princes Street towards
Murrayfield, a Rottweiler suddenly lunged towards an eight year old
Scottish lass, with its jaws wide open ready to attack.
 
The crowd nearby gasped in horror but, quick as a flash, a man in red jumped out of the crowd, grabbed the dog by the throat and throttled it.
As the dead dog lay there, and the crowd cheered in admiration,
a journalist from the Glasgow Herald who had witnessed the heroic deed,
went up to the man and said, 'That was brilliant, I can see the headline now - 
  
'Welsh Rugby Fan Saves Young Girl From Certain Death'.
 
The man replied, 'No you've got it wrong. I'm not here for the rugby!'
'Don't worry' said the journalist, 'I can see the headline now 
 
'Welshman Saves Girl From Jaws Of Rottweiler'.  The man replied, 'No you're wrong again. I'm not Welsh; I'm from London.'
The journalist said, 'Don't worry; I can see the headline now -
 
'English Bastard Strangles Family Pet'.
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Salmon Shirted Panther
31/03/09 21:08
 Rookie 1069 forum posts 1 bookmark



In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in  Kenya after graduating from  Northwestern   University .



On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air.



The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully.



He got down on one knee, inspected the elephants foot, and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it.



As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his knife,



after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.



The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments.



Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled.



Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away.



Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.


 
 



Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son.



As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and



walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing.



The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down.



The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.



Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter could not help wondering if this was the same elephant.



Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing, and made his way into the enclosure.



He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.



The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs



and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.


 
 



Probably wasn't the same elephant.

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Parky Again
30/04/09 18:28

http://www.outdoorsmagic.com/members/images/8988/Gallery/pooh.jpg

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Rog the rab whore
30/04/09 21:00
 Rookie 324 forum posts

Jimmy Carr one liners


I met a 14 year old girl on the internet. She was clever, funny, flirty
and sexy, so I suggested we meet up.
She turned out to be an undercover detective.
How cool is that at her age?!



I just saw that Harry Potter film. A bit unrealistic if you ask me. I
mean, a ginger kid, with two friends?

I was walking in a cemetery this morning and seen a bloke hiding behind
a gravestone. I said "morning."
He replied, "No, just having a sh!t."

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Lee Robert
24/08/11 12:47
 Rookie 419 forum posts 5 reviews

I'm admit, this is very cynical of me but hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

http://www.usdebtclock.org/

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