Soapbox

...what if you don't drive?

<stagger under weight of five man tent,...trip...fall over....bump>

...good point, skanky old chap...

But, I was almost tempted into this mad mad world at one of those "camping" shows that you see. They seduce you with all that space and the options of bedrooms and "indoor" storage. With "airbeds" and B-B-Q's and fridges and, and, and everything!

The evil swines...I managed to fight of those mad urges that one time, but I don't know how long for...

Go to UKCampsite.co.uk and read the replies under'Tents' and 'Equipment'
It gives me hours of fun and I often bung a reply in to stir things up.
Right I'm ranting now.
Please forgive me
Some people should be boarded up in their homes with a fortnights supply of food and beer and not allowed out until their holiday allocation runs out. and then they wouldnt be going on about inane things like airbeds ,coolie boxes,Satellite tv, and even feckin washing machines! ....and what tent to buy thats bigger than the bloody house they live in and they cant even put it up in the garden cos it aint big enough...and is a Wynnster better than a Coleman or a Sunncamp
Dear God ...did you see that prog on just now about that family and the food they eat? £80 a week on takeaways alone!!
I'm changing me name to Littlejohn...
Bastards....

doesn't something that big need planning permission?

Sorry to burst the bubble but the truth is that this world of luxury camping with folding beds, Millenium Dome sized tents, AGA stoves, etc falls at the first hurdle, loading the car! I took three of my mates camping for a couple of days and we TOTALLY filled my Ford Sierra. We took a decent sized tent but the only luxuries were one folding camp chair and a tiny minifrdige (tinyfridge?). Granted, they did have cheap bulky sleeping bags but they were sleeping on foam mats and we were cooking with tiny titanium pots and a MSR stove. The car was so full that the back end of the car kept scraping on wee hilly roads!

There is just NO WAY we could have done the kind of luxury camping described, even if I had a huge Volvo estate. If we each took a car then, yeah, maybe we could have done it!

Didnt see you all turning your noses up at entering the Winnister 'partay tent'

When theres all night boozing involved thats different ;-)

Geoffrey you need a bigger car. Preferably a huge 4x4 with a ten-litre V-8 motor. And ditch the friends. It's all about priorities.

And so to bed. Or rather an ultralight Therm-a-Rest :-(

The Partay Tent is really a Tardis.
Only we know this.
A bit like my self erecting gazebo.
5..4...3...2...1....
Here we go.......

PS.. for a week in the Lakes last year, I had to buy a trailer to fit everything in. Mind you I needed it for the wife's shampoo... ...conditioner..cotton wool buds...50 pairs of everything ..the kitchen sink.. the conservatory .....enough food for an army...even a bloody umbrella! Oh and a 'comfy' folding chair. And a bloody airbed too.
And this is a woman who's done a Dof E Gold.
Talk about spoilt.

This partay tent will self-destruct in 72 hours and 4 minutes.

Simple solution to not being able to fit it all in the car. Dont take it.

Now, hold on - dont start frowning yet, you can still have all the comfort and benefits that Jon describes in his article.

All you need to do is go away with (or arrange to meet up with) someone who DOES have al the stuff and a way of getting it there.

For instance - take MikeyB's example above. You could have just turned up, pitched next to him and taken advantage of his generosity.

It works on OM meets too. A good example being Julies Partay tent, Jolly Rogers free tea and coffee production service and Phil N making me breakfast in the morning before driving me all the way to Keswick to fill up a petrol can with diesel (dont ask). and that was all on the same meet.

I have to own up and say I never go along with the intention of taking advantage of other peoples generosity and home comforts - but they always seem to take pity on those "less fortunate than themselves" in the comfort stakes. So it just kinda happens....

Quite right Si
I will have room in the Vango this weekend. Just bring a chair!

I have nothing against taking a large tent and better sleping stuff and the like. But I can only carry that if I go with the missus as she drives and I don't. However she doesn't like camping so we've compromised by taking "Mild Camping" one stage further to the "Not Actually Camping" concept. This is where you make use of hotels, B&Bs, hostels, holiday rentals, etc. etc. Lots of comfort, and little to carry. Costs a bit more, though.

If I want to go camping I have to go on my own (or meet up with mates - but still travel on my own) which means carry it all in and carry it all out.

Not actually camping goes against the spirit of Mild Camping and is also more expensive. Plus you lose out on the subtle pleasure of seeing those less fortunate than yourself living in a spartan but expensive stylee in the grounds of your own contry estate.

I once witnessed the Dark Side of Mild Camping that this article fails to draw attention to. A few years back myself and friends arrived in Stromness campsite in the midst of a howling gale and lashing rain. It was a dark, dismal night, but we managed to erect our two teeny mountain tents without them getting too wet inside (I was glad of my all in one tent erecting mode - I was dry, and remembered why I didn't get a Quasar as said mate was somewhat flooded... but I diagress). We quickly retired to the pub, as is dictated in these situations.

The next morning we awoke to a post-appocolyptic scene of distruction. The campsite, with all it's large luxury tents looked like Florida after a visitation from a large hurricane. Imagine if you will a pair of tents sitting finely pitched in a field filled with the tattered remains of these palatial canvas abodes, the occupants of which had retired to the toilet block to shelter from the storm over night.

From that day on it's been mountain tents only for me. Although luxury is now creeping in with a large air bed taking up the entire floorspace of the tent on car based trips now.... and I keep finding myself strangely drawn to the VAST base camp geodesics that are displayed in the Lakedistrict camping shows, made by the likes of Mountain Hardware, and invariably orange! I could park my car in there, get all my mates around and still survive a direct nuclear strike, and all for the paltry sum of £8000.

;-)

I really cannot beleive the arrogance and eliteism of some people.

Each to their own, I say, YOU do your thing, let others do theirs, simple law of demoracy that!

Remember too that not everyone who strives to enjoy an "outdoor type" holiday is a middle class high wage, money to burn "enthusiast," and many families who enjoy camping are young families striving to contribute to society and taking what breaks they can.

I am reletavely comfortable now in my middle age, having worked my way through the ranks to end up a manager in the Ambulance Service. It was not always so, and I used to take my young family on camping holidays in a large frame tent as an alternative to being unable to afford anything else!

In my case, it also served to keep us together as a family unit, due to my son's severe Cerebral Palsey.

Don't be so judgemental and leave others alone to enjoy whatever they wish to do.

Remember also that they could have a superior attitude by complying with the law by staying on licenced campsites and not wild camping!!

You should rename it: "almost-camping". It's like camping, but with all the same stuff you have at home, and none of the minor inconveniences that make it fun. What's the point? You might as well invest in a trailer tent and only pitch where you can have immediate access to 240v power, crown green bowls and a nice warm social club offering "top cabaret" and sing-a-longs (shudder).

And having witnessed for myself the effects of heavy weather on such huge, poorly-anchored gear (in an incident forever afterwards known as "The Final Flight of the Gazebo"), I agree with Rob - I don't care how small it is, nowadays it's got to be at least semi-geodesic before I'll sleep in it.

Rant over, feeling much better now.

Oh, and I am talking large 6 berth frame tent, airbeds, double burner gas stove, all carried in a trailer.

Even this can get the "enthusiasts" hot under the collar!!!!

I thought "Mild" Camping was something they only did in the Midlands.