deranged killer cat

like it says.

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Air Vice Marshall Tarka, Otter Bomber Command
27/04/2006 at 16:46
Got myself a cat. I know what you're thinking, "He's only got that cat so he can make armour for it out of tin foil, put a small hand-fashioned saddle on its back and ride it like a war-horse, holding a sharpened kebab skewer in one hand and a jam jar lid (with a little handle on it so it's like a shield) in the other." Well, you'd be wrong.

No, I got myself a cat because I enjoy nothing more than scooping up bits of moribund bird and decapitated mouse off my carpet. And so we arrive at the crux.

Since Sunday he's delivered 2 birds (one looked like it had been attacked by 'Predator' and a mouse (fully inatct). Previous kills include a massive rat, more birds and mice. He's now got the cat equivalent of Big Ben round his neck but it doesn't seem to slow him. He's had his gentleman cat privates 'taken care of' too. Any suggestions as to how to bring this senseless loss of life to an end?

Air Vice Marshall Tarka, Otter Bomber Command
27/04/2006 at 16:49
I mean, seriously.
The little furry dude is deranged. I saw him this morning with dried blood caking his left flank. It's just wrong.
n/a
27/04/2006 at 16:55
The fun starts when they bring back live bats. They get behind fitted wardrobes, wall-cupboards and the like, the only way to get them out is to start dismantling the furniture. What joy!
Scott
27/04/2006 at 17:00
My first cat was much the same - just had an appalling talent for catching wildlife. All the bells & stuff made no difference. I actually saw him one day stalking through the grass with his chin tucked down onto his chest, to stop the bell making a noise. Honestly.

His kill rate didn't drop until I got a kitten, who was utterly rubbish at hunting, & who hung around with him, ruining all his ambushes, & springing his traps too early.

Getting another cat is quite a high risk strategy, mind you...

;0)

"It's psychosomatic. You need a lobotomy. I'll get a saw."

Parky Again
27/04/2006 at 17:51
it's bringing you presents of food. if you throw them out, the poor deranged, flat headed, yellow eyed monster thinks that they are not good enough and redoubles its efforts to impress you.

you may have to make that tin foil armour after all.

or encourage it to tear up and down the curtains.
Nick Poole
27/04/2006 at 18:09
Our cat is a big (not overweight), long haired tabby and white moggy who loves going outside and ruling the roost, but he has never brought back anything that he's killed himself. However, he has been known to do a good line in chicken drumsticks off BBQs and the occasional pork joint (which was obviously intended to be eaten as part of a Sunday roast)!

My mother-in-law recently got a cat to keep her company. It's a lovely, cute little thing with a very squeaky meow... but when she goes out, she's a savage (the cat, not my mother-in-law!). She's killed multiple birds of all sizes, including large wood pigeons and, last week, she caught an adult wild rabbit and then proceeded to play with it for hours on the patio!
Jules aka Bat Girl
27/04/2006 at 18:54
When I worked in a Hospital in leeds we had some feral Cats living outside. They kept the Rat population down nicely and the remaining rats kept the cockroach population down nicely.

Everything was fine, a nice little food chain going on.

Now for some reason the higher management decided that the feral cats should not be living on the hospital property and got rid of them, dont ask why I have no explaiation.

This unfortunatly caused the rat population to explode out of control and we were overrun and when the secetary found one sitting in top of a bush, bold as anything, just a foot outside the window watching her work in broad daylight well enough was enough.

Unfortunatly the rats were mostly living on the cockroach population so guess what happened to their numbers after they had poisened an estimated 2000 rats in a small area.
Peewiglet
27/04/2006 at 19:11
The little furry dude is deranged. I saw him this morning with dried blood caking his left flank. It's just wrong.

Aaaah! The little darling :-)


(I love cats.)
Hamish Fenton
27/04/2006 at 21:57
What do you expect it is a cat, a natural born killer, my cat isn't so keen on the killing bit although it does still happen a little too much (in the end), she just catches creatures as she wants a new playmate (not that the mouse see's it that way), so consequently sometimes we get mice in the kitchen cupboards and birds flying around the house.

in the past when our cat has been on a particular catching / killing spree, we have put one of those cone shaped collars on her that are used to stop them licking wounds etc as a punishment, as soon as the cat associates having the collar put on with bringing robins, blackbirds, thrushes, bluetits etc in, the number soon drops off, oh and it will make your cat walk backwards
Edited: 27/04/2006 at 21:58
Peewiglet
27/04/2006 at 22:01
My Midgey used to bring me dead mice in bed sometimes, which I felt was pushing things a little bit too far. He used to catch rabbits as well when we lived in the country, and rats. We'd find little hearts and livers and other delicacies left as loving gifts on the doorstep almost every morning.

The worst thing, though, was when he killed a guinea pig belonging to a child at the bottom of the garden... We didn't know where it had come from, and didn't really know what to do. About a week later, though, there was a knock on the door and I opened it to find a young woman standing there with a crying child. She told me they were searching for a guinea pig and asked if I had seen one. I couldn't bring myself to say that Midge had eaten it in front of the poor child, so I said no. It's on my conscience to this day :(


Edited: 27/04/2006 at 22:07
Jules aka Bat Girl
27/04/2006 at 22:15
Shirl, what else could you do?

Me and an ex boyfriend had a similar problem with a Reticulated Python and the next door neighbours cat once, we never owned up either. The snake was sent away in discrace to live in a zoo not long after that.
Jamie @ www.trekkingbritain.com
27/04/2006 at 22:44
I have nothing against cats, in fact I have a respect for them as they don't need pampering like dogs. I am a dog person though.

Anyway can anyone help me? I have several cats in my garden a day but I don't want them there! There cute... but they scare all the birds away and keeping digging holes then dropping one! in my garden beds.

So that I don't have to borrow a BB gun and get rid of them that way ( only jokin PW ) can someone tell me how I get rid of the damn things! People so far have suggested 'big cat' poo from the zoo and someone said they don't like citrus.

Having said that though I saw one lying on my fence the other day drinking a bottle of Sprite and wearing tiger skin pants so I'm not convinced!?
Jules aka Bat Girl
27/04/2006 at 22:50
You can get some stuff from garden centrers that should help, or get a dog ,preferably a jack russel, they soon learn.
Ddyrchafedig Gyrrwr (Beic Modur)
27/04/2006 at 23:03
Jamie,

Cats cannot stand Citrus fruit.

Eat Oranges and place the peel around your young plants whilst they are bedding in.

It is a tip that I picked up years ago from my gardening mad father and it has never failed for me!

Mal Mawr
27/04/2006 at 23:59
Jamie,
Just smoke some dope. It doesn't cure the problem but you just won't give a toss.
But then, from the last paragraph of your last post I presume you do that anyway.
8¬P
Mal Mawr
28/04/2006 at 00:02
Tony's idea works for me. I roughly grate orange peel and scatter it about any loose, friable soil. I leave it for a couple of days, dig it in and apply fresh.
Metric Kate
28/04/2006 at 00:02
My brother got one of those super-soaker water 'pistols' (hardly the right word, more like a water machine-gun, but I wish we had those when I was a kid!!), filled it with water coloured with food dye and waited for the cat to come. It never came back...
Hamish Fenton
28/04/2006 at 00:04
supersoaker ready pressurised on shelf just inside backdoor, just waiting for that tom from two doors up to come round. keeps beating our cat up, sleeping in her bed etc (not seen it recently).
Edited: 28/04/2006 at 00:16
Jason T
28/04/2006 at 09:24
You can't stop the little darlings killing things - it's their job! I'm constantly picking up little bits of animal in the mornings after my cats have gone & got their own breakfast - that'll teach me for buying cheap Aldi catfood.

To deter other cats from your garden - you could try some pellets soaked in lion urine (i kid you not). I think they're called "silent roar" or sumfink like that. Basically other cats will have a sniff around your flowerbeds & think to themselves "blimey! a fu*k-off HUGH cat lives here, i'm not going to be caught out having a dump here".

Otherwise, you can just do as Otterboy suggests - saddle up your cat & ride out in the ealry morning mist to do battle with the moggys from the 'hood - prancing, dancing & lancing. Tally Ho!!!
Richard Mumford
28/04/2006 at 10:05
Look at it as an opportunity.

http://bertc.com/cooking_rats.htm
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