Hargreaves Husband Interviewed...

1 to 20 of 48 messages
30/08/2002 at 14:57
I think AH was a **** for doing what she did. I believe that having kids and risking your life are incompatible, espesh as the mother-child bond is much stronger than the father-child. Just the way it is.

I reckon the kids are too young for what happened to affect them much. If it happened today, it would be a different story...

Plus I think if someone actually asked the kids, while they'd say they were proud to have had a mum like that, they'd really want - a mum. Full stop.
30/08/2002 at 14:59
Two cock ups in one! First, I've put this in the wrong fourm, second I've left noti on again (I bloodly hope those two are going to be sorted in the new upload)
30/08/2002 at 15:02
So it's OK for men to go off and desert their children?

Oh sorry, I forgot. They (some of them) do that all the time anyway...Rick Stein's the latest....
30/08/2002 at 20:58
This old arguement...guarenteed to get peoples backs up.

Great!

IMO, ANYONE should be free to do whatever they want within the bounds of their relationship. Just 'cos she went off and did what she did (and even didn't come back) it doesn't make her a 'bad' mother or a 'bad' person.
30/08/2002 at 22:30
Exactly! Being a parent shouldn't mean that a woman has to stay home and darn socks and be a household slave while the men continue to live the single life and do exactly as they please...although sadly many men DO treat marriage that way (not Bobs I'm glad 2 say)
30/08/2002 at 22:41
That's me on the right cleaning the bath.......







OK OK so it was the Mediterranean, he wanted to keep me busy...
30/08/2002 at 23:48
I think children gives you responsibilty, whatever your sex. If you want to swan off and risk your neck, don't go making people dependent on you first (men, or women)

Also, kids often take the loss of a mother worse than a father, so...

If that weren't true, why do kids to tend to end up with the mum rather than the dad in the event of a break-up?
30/08/2002 at 23:51
Because it's nearly always the man who runs off with a tart who doesn't want to have his older kids to look after and wants him to herself. Far less frequent for mothers to run off.
30/08/2002 at 23:52
I know loads of girls who have been abandoned with children. Only know one abandoned father.
30/08/2002 at 23:56
Well, yes, there is that (I was thinking that as I typed it!)
31/08/2002 at 00:00
Men don't seem (and I know I'm generalising horribly here) to have the same loyalty to their kids as most women do. Lots of women put up with abusive partners for the sake of the kids. Many men seem more able to turn their backs for their 'fresh start'.

Pity the woman left alone with a tiny income and 24 hour a day childminding duties has no chance to get out and have a fresh start even if the man alleges that he has given her the "opportunity" to do so...
31/08/2002 at 02:00
Dan - I'm assuming you haven't read "Regions of the Heart" here. I have to say I completely disagree - AH was taking the only course available to them that would allow a seemingly financially secure life subsequntly. JB would appear to have been petty frail pyschologically, both physically and mentally abusive, and a long way from the figure he now portrays. He was pretty much incapable of providing for the children, whereas Alison had a talent that she could market, and had little option at the time. Hindsight of course is a wonderful gift, but the irony of the situation is that JB and the children's financial future is now secure because of Alison's death, not despite it.
31/08/2002 at 03:19
Alison Hargreaves was a selfish bitch, what kind of 'mother' would put her kids through that ?
31/08/2002 at 03:21
She could have marketed her talent BEFORE she had children, but no, she didn't did she ?
31/08/2002 at 03:34
Um, no, she couldn't, partly because she was kept busy trying to look after the kids and stopping JBs ramshackle buisness from folding; and partly because she didn't have the neccessary track record and media following until late on in her career. If she'd made it back down...well who knows but you wouldn't be calling her a selfish bitch now would you? With the huge media circus surrounding Everest and K2 over it seems likely that she could concentrate more on the family and less on "prize" ascents. Perhaps the degree of danger involved was significantly less than, say, getting into a car with a drunk driver and not wearing a seatbelt, and speeding through Parisian subways : but who is villified for their actions and who isidolised in 'popular' opinion??
31/08/2002 at 03:40
Personally, I wouldn't bring children into this world only to desert them.

Call me old fashioned...
31/08/2002 at 04:02
As an ex-father that lost his daughter to a similarly, selfish woman, maybe I am biased.

The courts ruled that my wife was the most suitable of the two of us to raise our daughter.

May I sarcastically applaud the decision made by two (childless lesbian) members of the bench, and also the bloke that didn't get a say in the matter.

Hooray for the british legal system.

My daughter is now in the capable hands of a drug taking slut.

I must point out that she is doing fine, her new dad seems like a nice bloke.

Not really my point though; why is it that the male half of the relationship has to prove it ?

What happened to Womens Lib ?

I’ll tell you what happened to it, it’s only convenient when the woman has a tearjerking statement to make to the court, regarding her privilege to stay out of jail because she has a child to look after. Crocodile tears and court cases are synonymous with women. Not all women, though.

They only burn their bra’s when the fire is on their side.

Yes, I am bitter.

Not all blokes deserve to lose.

I still say that AH (not Alan Hinkes) was irresponsible, especially after Alan Hinkes advised her not to summit.
31/08/2002 at 04:16
Btw, I didn't see the husband interview.
31/08/2002 at 08:16
I'm so sorry to hear all that Tony. A hell of a situation and, I can only asssume, a heart-breaking nightmare to go through.



I'm not trying to argue that her death hasn't affected the kids BTW; but Al Hinkes had left K2 base camp prior to Alson's return to the hill, so I can't see how he could have warned her about not ascending. He did make some "I knew there would be a tragedy" comments afterwards, which sounds like hindsight at it's best.
31/08/2002 at 10:34
Tony - really sorry to hear all that stuff. Some women can be real bitches, but many more husbands can be bas*ards, believe me.
Big income=better solicitor=good financial settlement, even when he has been morally in the wrong and deserted the wife and kids and left them in debt.

It isn't always best to give custody to the female. A read of 'Mothering' and 'Fathering' by Rudolph ?(somebody) reveals that these are merely roles that can be undertaken by a person of either gender. Sorry can't remember details. Studied it at Uni years ago.
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