Useful travel warnings

29/01/2002 at 22:34

I thought it may be interesting if people give their what not to do warnings stupid and serious to enable people to learn from others mistakes.

Mine is
Never under any circumstances celebrate new year with a bunch of russians with an apparently limitless supply of vodka.

Results
You will be drunk for 36 hours someone will fall on your bed and break it which will also mysteriously fill with vomit which may or may not be yours.

Jon Doran

29/01/2002 at 23:03

Erm, the obvious one - never try to leap across a small river in spate wearing a very large pack then have the bank collapse under your feet as you land.

On top of that, don't get hammered at altitude - 4000 metres or so - the hangover will be unreal.

OutdoorsMagic Editor | jon@outdoorsmagic.com

Hedgehope Aztec

29/01/2002 at 23:56

Never agree to climb Bow Fell at 5:30 in the morning to see the millennium dawn rise, when you've just got to bed at 5:00am

Hey is Bow Fell going to be 'Have you climbed it' in Trail? I can feel a letter coming on.

neil rich

30/01/2002 at 08:37

Mike
have you had anything published in trail before?

neil rich

30/01/2002 at 08:42

when in the arctic and living in a small wooden hut with a stove in the middle never put sticks on top of the stove to dry out and then leave the hut. Returning to the hut and finding a huge flaming bonfire ON TOP of the stove is a little disconcerting but focuses the mind in excellent fashion. We narrowly averted burning down the only bit of shelter for miles along with all our gear.

Hedgehope Aztec

30/01/2002 at 08:52

They keep sending my letters back.

Take a map and compass and know WHEN to use them. Hey I did find Stake pass, shame I set off in the Borrowdale direction.....
Some new batteries for the gps would come in handy too.

30/01/2002 at 09:02

Never set off from the wrong Dungeon Gill (New not Old) and end up going up a vertical crag with two women who haven't done an climbing. Ever. (Mr Cook, if you're reading this - sorry but I had to tell them!)

Si

Hedgehope Aztec

30/01/2002 at 09:10

Never set off from the Dungeon Ghyll at all, it's much nicer inside.
Did I ever tell about the time I spent 9 hours in the ODG..

30/01/2002 at 10:35

Good point, well raised. Wont happen again, I promise.

And, no you didn't mention it, do tell...

Si

Rob Sutherland

30/01/2002 at 10:46

Never agree to play football against an Amerindian village and perform a sliding tackle on razor grass.

Ouch

Orange Alex Ford

30/01/2002 at 19:27

Never, ever, EVER enter into a drinking competition with "the locals", and if you are ever stupid enough to do it, NEVER EVER EVER let them choose the drink OR set the rules!

(Italy '95, Spain '94, Canada '93...When will I ever learn!)

Ninja Marmot

30/01/2002 at 22:16

Ah but Austria '99 was OK because I found that schnapps doesn't affect me as much as most people......
I ended up pushing Sir C up a flight of stairs - and me on crutches too....

Clive Clasby (Old Git)

07/02/2002 at 23:13

Jeannie
You will find that due to the Schnapps gravitational anomaly described by Hawking (bert hawking of course) you pushed him down the stairs and he ended up on crutches. Never trust yourself if you convice yourself "X does not affect me much" that way lies oblivion and a broken bed full of sick.

Ninja Marmot

07/02/2002 at 23:21

What a charming thought.

I'll hold on to that one for a moment.

So how do you explain the photo of me lying on the (sick-free) bed wearing a full length leg plaster and a piste map?

Huh?

neil rich

08/02/2002 at 13:25

are you sure your penultimate word is in the right place?

Ninja Marmot

08/02/2002 at 13:28

Yes.
Oh yes.
But he was and I was wearing it.

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