Face masks and water pistols.

The Great Outdoors

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01/05/2008 at 19:52

Let me see if I've got this right.

It's not April 1st.

You put a face mask on.

You fill up your water pistol.

You put on a rubber glove.

You squat down, do what you gotta do, then, still squatting,  squirt the shite off yer arse with the water pistol, wiping it (your bum that is) between squirts with the rubber-gloved hand. Then you fold the be-jobbied glove up inside out, and carry it with you. Aye.

A picture would be worth a thousand words! McNeish! Show us how it's done!

Is there a club for this? A google group perhaps?

What's happening to TGO - there is more space filled with pictures of water pistols and faecal bacteria than Colin Prior's images.

01/05/2008 at 19:56

What you really need is a hungry spaniel?

01/05/2008 at 19:57
A glove? How civilised.
01/05/2008 at 20:00
A facemask, for the shy and retiring perhaps?
01/05/2008 at 20:01

I think that communal sponges and buckets of water should be left at various points along the more frequented trails. It was good enough for the Romans.

Of course, what we really need are more caprophages and fewer caprophones.

"...the moral test of government is how that government treats those who are in the dawn of life, the children; those who are in the twilight of life, the elderly; those who are in the shadows of life; the sick, the needy the handicapped and submariners. " ~ Last Speech of Hubert H. Humphrey

Edited: 01/05/2008 at 20:03
01/05/2008 at 20:02
michael dray wrote (see)
A facemask, for the shy and retiring perhaps?

Sorry Mick - youve got this arse about face.

01/05/2008 at 20:04

Having only had a quick flick through TGO I have to say-


Rubber gloves! Face masks! Water bloody pistols!

It is getting silly season over there, it really is.

Either- pack some travel wipes, or do what was recommended when I was going on exercise for a few weeks. Get a nice new razor, a mirror and go into the shower. Give your bottom the once over with a gillette and hey presto! No winnits. Clean and fresh, if a tad itchy.....

I look forward to the photos of THAT in next months TGO!

01/05/2008 at 20:13
The pistol does double up as a means of holding up passing wild bears, to ransom them for food and supplies along the trail too though, to be fair!
01/05/2008 at 20:15
Did they give a free water pistol free on the cover then like a kids comic at all? It might just be then, that they write articles according to whatever cheap stuff they can get to give away on the cover there! Face mask, ballons, pens...........
01/05/2008 at 20:17
It made me laugh though, a picture I saw last year on the Hoods woods website, where Hoods had a towel, a tiny one at that, which he uses in the outdoors; with one end of it marked as 'face' and the other end with 'arse' written on it! I suppose that is ok as long as your're always careful how you fold it up, and only use it during daylight hours maybe!
Edited: 01/05/2008 at 20:18
01/05/2008 at 20:21

If this fella can do it so ca you:


01/05/2008 at 20:22
Haven't read it yet. Can't wait.

01/05/2008 at 20:28
I cannot quite read that newspaper headline that the bear on the woodland wc is reading in the newspaper it's holding there, FB!Do bears shag in the woods is it, or share newspapers in the woods maybe?
Edited: 01/05/2008 at 20:28
01/05/2008 at 20:29
Poop Trev Poop
01/05/2008 at 20:40
I've not got my copy yet this month. Did they specify a full strength Marigold or a SUL latex medical glove?
01/05/2008 at 20:41
Bamboo 1% one wasn't it!
01/05/2008 at 20:42
Matt C wrote (see)
I've not got my copy yet this month. Did they specify a full strength Marigold or a SUL latex medical glove?

Actually the SUL version is when you just cut the fingers off and use one per poo.

01/05/2008 at 20:43
SUL: a whole glove - FFS get a grip ()
01/05/2008 at 20:44

ed - I think you will find I got there first

01/05/2008 at 20:45

Just make sure you wash your hands; or fingers

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