Face masks and water pistols.

You should write an article for TGO Mike! But underwater dumping, while it solves the problem of washing your arse, does rather depend  on jobbies that sink. If they're floaters ...

Bent over under a waterfall! A free waterpistol! Eddy never thought of that! What can be lighter than carrying nothing. Wait a minute, you would have to carry bino's for spotting waterfalls.

Midgie Kilt?

I think this would be a usefull addition to my kit along with the dustmask and Inuit rubber fetish suit.

You are all talking nonsence.

To avoid midge bites in the heather nethers...

...simply have a  colostomy bag (ultralight naturally) fitted betwee late May and early October.

Easy, simple and effctive. Just avoid scrambling on the Cuillin ridge.

This thread is going downhill fast

Has anyone seen what a dog with an itchy arse does to relieve itself?

well if you haven't, it runs full speed then flips its back legs up and slides along on it's arse.    So if we did it, it would save looking for a waterfall, carrying a water pistol and certainly no problem with Klingons

I think this is ok for wild camping but who would like to try it first at a busy bank holiday campsite?

michael dray wrote (see)

This thread is going downhill fast

Has anyone seen what a dog with an itchy arse does to relieve itself?

well if you haven't, it runs full speed then flips its back legs up and slides along on it's arse.    So if we did it, it would save looking for a waterfall, carrying a water pistol and certainly no problem with Klingons

I think this is ok for wild camping but who would like to try it first at a busy bank holiday campsite?

Bigbananafeet wrote (see)

Midgie Kilt?

I think this would be a usefull addition to my kit along with the dustmask and Inuit rubber fetish suit.

is that you modeling that bannana feet?

i think a pebble is a good alternative not to smooth though definately not too rough ( cullin garbo may cause the eyes to water) then this can be put on top of the jobbie, sort of like a cap stone once buried...

WARNING: The sheer weight of scatological puns on this thread has caused a serious blockage of the Outdoorsmagic overflow pipe.  What with the build up of pressure from the dust mask thread, there is an imminent danger of a blowback.

Those who invested in a dust mask would be well advised to don them now before tucking your trousers into your socks and taking several steps backwards.

Can you all please leave the site in a calm and orderly fashion, women and children first.

I'm afraid that due to the large number of participants, it's likely that not all of us will make it out of here alive.  So might I just take this opportunity to apologise for my most recent TGO article.  To my eternal shame, I didn't think through the consequences of my words.  I didn't consider the lives that would be blighted, the sides that would be split.  But that's me all over.  I just don't think.

I will, of course, do the honourable thing and stay with this thread to the bitter (and doubtless pungent) end.  I only hope that you might find it in your hearts to forgive me.

Yours suitably chastened

Eddy Meechan.

No, on second thoughts, scrub that.  Here come Dyno-Rod.

'There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.'  Oscar Wilde

Scat Ed

.

.

.

I'll just get my coat shall I?!

> No, on second thoughts, scrub that.

A soft toothbrush, I'd have thought, for the scrubbing...?

And definately one to keep separate from your 'real' toothbrush...

"We are all lying in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars"...

captain paranoia wrote (see)

"We are all lying in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars"...

Well, as they do say, "The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat".  It's the nature of it all.

Good on you there Eddy, for taking it all in the light of good humour! You've certainly kept us all entertained along the way, and brightened a few dull days with your unusual and thoroughly innovative outdoors kit approach, on here!