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 TRAVEL FEATURES 28 / 11 / 01
 

Handy 10 point guide to Nepal

Travel features in association with
Explore

OUTDOORSmagic members, Will Greswell (right)
and Jack Thurston (wrong) on the SE ridge of Makalu
not far below the snow line at about 5,200m

OUTDOORSmagic member, Will Greswell, has spent the last two months in the high mountains of the Himalaya, and has offered us a handy 10 point guide to Nepal (with free 11th point). But the bit we're really interested in is to see who recognises themselves in the two hikers that he met on route (point 7). Come on, you know who you are…

1. Noone eats Nepali food in Kathmandu. Its against the law. Everyone eats huevos rancheros for breakfast, pizza for lunch and large steaks for dinner.

2. If you buy 2 samosas for 10 rupees and then go back to the same person 20 minutes later for 4 more, they will cost you 30 rupees. Obvious.

3. Selling pots of tiger balm on the street is a sustainable business model with attractive returns for an astute investor.

4. Every hotel name in Thamel sounds like "Kathmandu Guest House".

5. The North Face makes all its clothing and equipment here in KTM and sells it at 1/3 the price of the UK. It's amazing. And the quality is the same too, really shoddy.

6. There is a real Barns (sic) and Noble in KTM. But there is no Starbucks or Mak(alu)Donalds, yet.

7. Trekking is just another excuse for a pissing contest, hence, on meeting other trekkers on the trail:

You:"Where have you just come from?"
Them:"Much further than you could possibly reach today, but the next village is very pretty, you should stay there and rest tonight."
You:"Where have you been so far?"
Them: "A very high pass above a very remote camp. Much higher and more remote than you could possibly go to"
You:"Where is your support?"
Them:"We have one guide, but we carry his gear for him. He is a bit behind us somewhere. You know these Nepalis, dawdle a bit don't they?"
You:"What are you doing for food?"
Them:"We're carrying 3 weeks supplies each, we avoid teahouses if we can, no point in supporting the economy is there?"
You:"How long you trekking for?"
Them:"At least 2 weeks longer than you?"
You:"Did you fly in/Are you flying out?"
Them:"Hah!"
You:"Done a lot of this trekking then?"
Them:"Yah, we are from Holland"
You:"You look a real prat in your stripy long john thermals under nylon shorts, and you have really spoilt my day with your absurd posturing. Did you ever stop to soak it all in?"
Them:"No chance. Much too serious for that"

8. Don't try and swim a grade 5 rapid. I tried (inadvertently) and it hurts.

9. Tongba is a real drink, not an excuse for the locals to foist their rotting vegetables on you disguised as "traditional Nepali drink" in a wooden pot.

10. Khukri Rum and Cokes taste just like they do in the Caribbean.

11. Nepali people rock.

Disclaimer: The views expressed above are not necessarily those of the OUTDOORSmagic management, largely because he doesn't know we've put them up there yet.


Travel features in association with Explore
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Discuss this article, 1 of 52 messages, read more:
sally hotchkin 
Posted: 28/11/01 15:16:15 15
It struck me that we're quite polite on this forum - always trying to offer advice based on sound experience, yet usually resisting the urge to brag about our how hard we are. So I reckon it's time for a no holds barred oneupmanship contest to see who on this forum has climbed further, higher, longer in colder, windier, snowier conditions.*

*Blatant childishness and the sort of bragging your mum told you not to do is actively encouraged

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