Rockface Wins TV Drama Award

Gone - for now - but not forgotten, BBC Mountain Rescue soapo-drama Rockface has won a prestigious TV Award.

Yep, on the first weekly anniversary of the programme's last showing, Rockface has been presented with an OUTDOORSmagic DAFTA prize for 'least believable, but hypnotically magnetic because of the strange technical balls-ups, drama about a Scottish mountain rescue team'.

To be honest, Wednesday nights just won't be the same without the slightly bizarre goings on from Glentunnock, sorry Glentannoch, but in an effort to ease the withdrawal symptoms, we've put together some more DAFTA Awards specially for Rockface. And hey, don't worry, there's a new series in the pipeline 'next year'.

The Rockface DAFTA Awards

Best Mountain Ringlets A walkover for love-triangle apex Annie Craig. When Annie isn't shaking those entrancing dark ringlets or climbing in voluminous Victorian bloomers, she's the love focus for her husband's decent and soulful brother Ben.

Best Maggots Not to be confused with best ringlets, the winner is the bloke found halfway up a rockface by posh tottie and aspirant team member Caroline with the little critters crawling all over his head wound. And he'd only been there a few days... Fortunately the kindly maggots had saved him from infection.

Weirdest Technical Faux Pas A hotly contested category, since the whole series revolves around thoroughly unlikely mountain events. Our choice though - and the competition was fierce - was one for the conoisseurs, viz, the extraordinary invisible belayer. Caroline - 'Posh Rescue' - is supposedly out alone soloing, erm, except that she's clearly tied on to a top rope... Nice.

Best Robbie Williams Lookalike Annie's hubby Peter Craig - the local bobby - whose painful inability to remember their wedding anniversary is probably down to a late return from a big stadium gig.

Best Belay The besandalled monk who, in the final episode manages to hold a two-man fall with his bare hands. Sadly even with the help of God he is unable to support two dangling climbers simultaneously - something the highly trained mountain resuers realise instinctively - and with blood pouting from his hands as the rope slips we get...

Best Touching The Void Moment Gordon does the old Swiss Army knife trick on Douglas but only after endless barracking from Cal who is keen to do the right thing and clearly has faith in the monk's ability to hold one fallen climber with his bleeding hands. Fortunately Cal survives with minor damage to his kidney, or was it his pancreas? (see the video clip from episode 5 on the Rockface site).

Best Villain The loopy psychopath with the gun who takes Annie and Ben prisoner when they turn up to investigate a helicopter crash. Billy Deansgate - named after one of Manchester's main shopping streets - claims to be stronger than anyone else because he has no regard for anyone, something he proves when he shoots himself in one of the series' gorier moments.

Best Slow Motion Snog Her with the ringlets and him with the best pained puppy dog expression of hopeless love when they are finally rescued from the mad villain by armed police. Whatever will become of them?

Too Handsome For His Own Good Brilliant Young Climber Award Anyone but posh, young superflirt Jamie. Not only are Jamie's brilliant extreme climbs at a conservative guess somewhere around V Diff. but he's not particularly handsome and has a disturbing oedipal relationship with his medical mumsy. Tormented by the sudden departure of his brother during his adolesence, he is SCREWED-UP. Trouble is, it's hard to give a damn.

Least Urgent Rescue In episode two, the team are called out to help a team of students who've very carelessly taken a mass fall. Faced with the prospect of dealing with a string of casualties, the team amble amicably across the hills chatting about trivia and enjoying the scenery. Still, why rush, the students aren't going anywhere...

Best Rockface Web Site The BBC Rockface site complete with weekly plot guides, video clips from each episode and profiles of and interviews with the stars. Unmissable.

Thank you and goodnight.