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They thought it was all over,
but while the sun may have set over the British Empire,
sorry, On The Hill Magazine, Alastair's still out there and
Beyond The Leeside. This month he's feeling
SAD...
I've been SAD for some time now. A tone's been humming in
me with the resolve of empty white noise. Winter set in,
rained upon us, then like an unwanted crag spectator,
refused to leave. I don't mean a 'sat in watching Graham
Norton while groups of friends are honourably drowning in
alcohol' type of sad by the way.
No, I'm talking Seasonally Affected Disorder sad - S.A.D.
Lack of sunlight, lack of wind in the hair, S.A.D filling
the dark evenings with indoor training, strengthening my
fibres and causing the cartilage in my finger joints to
swell.
Only Netball In The Hall Next
Door...
Indoor climbing can be brutal yet gratifyingly addictive.
But then, at other times, I stare at my raw chalked hands
and begin to lose the will to live. Some days my jaw feels
heavy and the corners of my mouth more susceptible to
gravity. I'm frowning too much for the prime of my life. I
miss the rock and the sun, I miss it like I'm missing
purpose in my life. I miss the sights, the landscapes and
breezy positions. There's no view from these plastic holds,
only netball in the sports hall next door and the
hamster-wheel lines of flabby twenty-somethings on CV
equipment in the gallery gym.
The weekend arrived with typical drizzle and gloom, ripe
for the challenge we headed for the Leeds Wall. I'm through
with this, we must climb outside, come what may I was going
out, wind, rain, shine, or more likely, the three combined.
I didn't care, at last I was free I wanted to struggle
against the elements. To clear my Sunday overhang we chose
one of the north's windiest and finest; Almscliff, the
world's premier fortress of gritstone.
My arms throbbed with an ache like they were on the verge
of solidifying. Gripping the juggy traverse of 'Great
Western', the guidebook's only four-star route, my hands
were beyond just being cold. Parts of my fingers were
turning numb, parts of the rock were wet, and the wind, what
a powerful and relentless onslaught. Excellent! The suction
screamed so hard at my brain that simple concentration
became a battle in itself. At last I was in a lofty position
with reason, vigour and enthusiasm. You had to hold on so
hard just to avoid being blown off. Vitality flowed through
me, I felt enlightened, I grinned and shouted in
celebration, the struggle was on.
It's Real, My World Comes
Alive...
That's what I love about the outdoors and climbing rocks.
It's real, my world comes alive on the hills, it's an escape
from the media excess, the information overload and hours
sat in traffic jams. It's the window from a reality where
safety is first and danger all but extinct. The outdoors is
free from political sleaze, spin-doctors and backstabbing -
with the exception of Internet forums. A place where
teamwork matters and makes sense, where attaining personal
goals brings its own rewards and failure its own
penalties.
However, there's one thing on the western horizon which
is, I feel, a great threat to the fundamental purpose of our
beloved outdoor obsession. You can sum it up in four simple
words; NO WIN, NO FEE. I know, scary isn't it. How long will
it be before we start to see ads in the outdoor press like:
'Have you twisted your ankle hiking? This man did and won
£10K' 'Grazed your knee mountain biking? Choked on the
water during a canoeing weekend? Forgotten to tie in before
setting off on a rock climb? These are just some of the
cases we're currently dealing with at Leach & Grumble
solicitors! 'Your pain is our mutual gain' and so on and so
forth ... you know the script.
Steve Bloggs Stoned On Annapurna
Solo Sensation...
I'd rather see the 'Drugs in Outdoor Sports' conspiracy
on the front-pages than watch us slide into the courts -
Steve Bloggs Stoned On Annapurna Solo Sensation! The U.S.
induced cry baby attitude has, disturbingly, already begun
at climbing walls. There are currently ongoing cases against
holds that spin, climbers who forgot to clip in because
there was no notice telling them to, and even issues as
futile as 'dirt on the holds'! Shameful behaviour but
unfortunately true. (It is? Ed.) The immediate
effects are apparent by nudging wall entrance fees up to
cover the spiralling insurance costs. But what will the
effects be in future?
You can imagine the threat to access of favourite
locations, particularly on private land, how long will it be
before a claim for personal injury is made against the
National Trust or a National Park Authority? 'Ooh I slipped
on a snow slope' or 'I bruised my ego by failing on a route
Your Honour'.
Rather than learning from the humbling experience, the
worse the situation, the more money an individual could
make. The prognosis is a frightening picture of red tape,
litigation and ultimately a change in the whole ethos of
what getting out there is all about. Which is to say, the
reality of pitting your wits against certain injury or even
death. As western civilisation slips into an increasing
obsession with cash, getting out there might not be so much
about avoiding harm but looking for a small disaster in
order to gain a few bucks.
Hmmmmm... I wonder if I could sue a National Park for
being S.A.D. because I haven't been outdoors all winter?
Just a thought.
Alastair Lee is a climber,
photographer and performer currently touring with his new
show Made in China. Check out- www.posingproductions.com
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