Ten simple, but ridiculous questions that'll tell the brutal truth - has the World Cup taken over your outdoor life?
Yes, the time has come and the trig point of truth is in full view
- are you a hard-nosed outdoors fanatic or a World Cup couch potato?
There's only one way to tell, just answer our ten simple questions
then check your scores. In the event of a draw the outcome will be
decided in extra time by a grade one scramble - and you thought I was
going to say 'a golden goal', hell, I don't even know what one of
those is...
1. What is a Beckham?
A. A peak between 2300 and 2350 feet with a vertical
interval of more than 500 foot between it and neighbouring peaks with
a cherry on the top and whipped cream.
B. Captain of England's all-conquering football team.
C. Modern dance manoevre involving petulant flick of heel
from prone position, now long forgotten.
2. Who was Jules Rimet?
A. Legendary French mountaineer who wrote some book called
Conquistadors of the Pointless?
B. Legendary French potter who made the original World
Cup.
C. Legendary character from French CSE text book who locked
the monkey in the cupboard.
3. Who is Tomo Cesen?
A. Controversial Yugoslavian mountaineer who may or may not
have achieved various desperate solo climbs.
B. Controversial Croatian striker who may or may not have
won the Golden Boot in the 1974 tournament.
C. Controversial pizza chef who may or may not have caused
Britain's worst recorded outbreak of salmonella in 1974.
4. What event was memorably described as
'like having sex with death'
A. Mark Twight and team's desperate retreat from the Rupal
Face of Nanga Parbat.
B. The penalty shoot out between England and Germany in the
1990 World Cup.
C. The porridge made by OUTDOORSmagic's editor on the first
ever site meet-up in Snowdonia.
5. Who conquered the world in
1953?
A. Hillary and Tenzing.
B. Brazil as usual.
C. Kruschev.
6. Who said: 'Football is a game played
between two sides for 90 minutes, then the Germans
win'
A. Alfred Wainwright in a moment of prescient lucidity.
B. Garry Lineker.
C. Dido.
7. Where's the world's highest football
field?
A. At 20,000 feet on the normal route up Denali in
Alaska.
B. La Paz, but Bolivia are no longer allowed to play
competitive internationals there as it gives them an unfair
advantage.
C. Tow Law.
8. Which country has won the World Cup
the most times?
A. Chris Bonington.
B. Brazil.
C. Chris Bonington.
9. Where is the venue for the current
World Cup?
A. Birmingham Arena isn't it?
B. Japan and South Korea.
C. Des Lynam's front room.
10. In a punch-up between Don Whillans
and Vinny Jones, who do you think would have won?
A. Whillans, no question.
B. Don who?
C. Mike Tyson.
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Assessing Your Results
Mostly 'A's Congratulations, you're a died in the
wool outdoors person, you probably aren't even aware that
the World Cup is taking place and if you are, frankly you
don't care.
Mostly 'B's Get off that sofa! The World Cup has
you by the laces, you'll be swapping your outdoor kit for a
replica shirt if things carry on this way. Fortunately it's
not too late, log onto OUTDOORSmagic regularly and we'll try
to save your outdoors soul.
Mix of 'A's and 'B's You're teetering along a fine
line. You know just about enough about football to get in
deep, the good news though is that your situation is
probably recoverable once England have been knocked out.
Think of it as being like a bout of flu.
Mostly 'C's Come on, you know nothing about either
football or the outdoors, you must be one of those saddos
who surfed in from a competition site. Well bad news buster,
there ain't no prize for answering these questions. Now
bugger off.
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Golden Goal Question If you've
unaccountably tied with yourself, this should sort it out once and
for all with no question of penalties.
Who or what was the 'Hand of
God'
A. Joe Brown's most innovative hand jam.
B. Maradonna's cheating ways.
C. The Magicalia tech team.
Thank you, good night and enjoy the footy / outdoors.
