Chemists reckon they've discovered the recipe for a perfect cup of tea, only one thing, our recipe is much, much better...
The big news this morning is that chemists in their methodical
chemical way claim to have uncovered the secret of the perfect
cuppa.
Briefly it involves pouring freshly drawn, boiling, soft water
onto loose Assam tea leaves in a pre-warmed ceramic tea pot, bewing
for three minutes then pouring into a ceramic mug which already
contains milk. The adding the milk to the cup first bit is,
apparently, crucial. You should then drink at a temperature of 60-65
degrees C to 'avoid vulgar slurping'.
It concludes by suggesting that for optimum enjoyment, you aim to
drink the tea in a seated drinking position in a favoured home spot
where 'quietness and calm will elevate the moment'.
Clearly this is bollocks of the highest order, so as an antidote,
here's the OUTDOORSmagic recipe for a perfect cuppa which will
knock the chemists' version into a rusty spam can...
1. Choose a hot day.
2. Select some finely tuned rolling hills or even better,
towering, scenic mountains.
3. Walk or climb all day through balmy summer breezes and warming
sunshine.
4. Find stunning shining blue mountain lake.
5. Collect stunning blue mountain water and boil over a small gas
/ Trangia / petrol stove until water is boiling.
6. Place old tea bag you found in the bottom of your pack in a
battered camping mug.
7. Pour boiling water over tea bag and brew for approximately 5
minutes.
8. Fish out tea bag using tent peg or trekking pole.
9. Add semi-off milk you've been carting around all day or better
still, powdered milk.
10. Stir with tent peg.
11. For optimum enjoyment, OM suggests you sit with your back
against a handy rock in a position where you can look out over lush
green valleys and a sea of rocky mountain peaks where a combination
of scenic grandeur and sheer exhaustion-inspired satisfaction will
'elevate the moment'.
12. Drink the tea hot and say 'ah...'
